RINGTONE THEATRE: Volume 1

By Ringtone Theatre, 2009

Your Byte-Size Comedy Show! Composer Suzannah Doyle has joined farces with a troupe of 25 talented actors, musicians, comedians and improv-isarians to bring you this album of 50 musical comedy ringtones and short sketches underscored with stylistic TV & movie music.

These epic comedy mini masterpieces of stage, screen and the hilarious everyday world are set to music and presented in 30 seconds or less (or more, if we feel like it) for your mini humor break or cellphone listening pleasure!

“I use these comedy sketches every time the IRS calls. That way I laugh when answering  instead of crying — and it’s kept me out of prison. Thanks, Ringtone Theatre!” 

E. Madge Inary, famous made up satisfied customer

You’ll find movie satires, parodies, and outside-the-box spins on everything from Nigerian email scams to celebrity impersonations such as James Bond calling regarding a mix-up in his Sushi Happy Meal order. Not to mention avant garde a capella songs such as “Banana Banana Banana” and a bit of eavesdropping on phone messages left for Jesus and God. And like a radio play, each comedy sketch has sound effects and/or original music by Suzannah Doyle and friends.

“I love these comedy sketches! Where’s my five bucks?”

People (not the magazine; the ones living in my basement)

It’s like having Saturday Night Live, Monty Python & You Don’t Know Jack on your phone!

Anon E. Muss

NOTE: THIS PROJECT IS TEMPORARILY ON HIATUS. HOWEVER, YOU CAN STILL LISTEN:

TRACK LIST

1. Cellphone News Network: Tonight’s Top Story  :59  Eric Nepom/ Suzannah Doyle
2. Lewis: I Like – Telephones :31  Eric Nepom/ Suzannah Doyle
3. James Bond: Misplaced my Jaguar :30  A. Sivetz/ Suzannah Doyle
4. Nigerian Scam (Ring Tone)  :57  J.C Jarvis/ Suzannah Doyle
5. Aerobics Ring Tone Society of America  :50   Eric Nepom/ Suzannah Doyle
6. Banana Banana Banana :60  Lyris Cooper/ Rylan Doyle/ Suzannah Doyle
7. Zombie Recipe Club: Human Tar Tar :30  Suzannah Doyle/ Lyris Cooper
8. Habib: Thank You for Calling America :29  Murray Lein/ Allen DeSomer
9. In My Day: New Fangled Ringtones :30  Suzannah Doyle
10. Bumblebee Ring Tone :23  Rimsky-Korsakov/ Neil Gladstone
11. In a World Guy: Answer the Call  1:00  Leon Flood/ Suzannah Doyle/ Stuart Curtis
12. Gone with the Ring Tone  :54  Eric Nepom/ Suzannah Doyle
13. God’s Phone Mssgs: Manuel – Karaoke Invite  :30  A. Sivetz/ Suzannah Doyle
14. Hysterical Wake Up Alarm :27  Suzannah Doyle
15. It’s Your Broker  :32   Neal Gladstone/ Suzannah Doyle
16. Bail Out Wall Street Telethon  :47  Eric Nepom/ Suzannah Doyle
17. Ring Ring Jokes 3  :30  Michael Warner
18. Phone Wars  :30  Michael Warner
19. Habib’s Monsoon Fish Market  :30  Murray Lein/ Suzannah Doyle/ Allen DeSomer
20. Cannibal Association: Eat Your Way to Health :30  Michael Warner/ Suzannah Doyle
21. Latino Soap Opera Association  1:10   Suzannah Doyle/ Eric Nepom
22. James Bond: Hello Dr. No :30   A. Sivetz/ Suzannah Doyle
23. Jesus Phone Machine: Mother calling :30   Michael Warner/ Suzannah Doyle
24. Hockey Men Who Knit :30   Jackson Frisbie/ Rylan Doyle/ Bryce Hansen/ Suzannah Doyle/ Steve Soucy
25. Hypochondriac Hotline  :30  Lyris Cooper/ Suzannah Doyle
26. Top Secret Russian Codes  :51   Rylan Doyle/ Suzannah Doyle
27. Queer Eye for the Zombie Guy  :29  Lyris Cooper/ Suzannah Doyle
28. James Bond: Tea on Tuesday :30   A. Sivetz/ Suzannah Doyle
29. Aunt Susie’s Affirmation Hotline  :30  Suzannah Doyle
30. John Wayne: Pick Up the Phone  :52  J. C Jarvis/ Suzannah Doyle
31. Jesus Phone Machine: Nazarene Insurance  :30  Michael Warner/ Suzannah Doyle
32. Habib: Turbanator 2000  :59  Murray Lein/ Suzannah Doyle
33. Zombie Recipe Club: Spaghetti & Eyeballs :30 Suzannah Doyle/ Lyris Cooper
34. Haunted Ring Tone: Pick Up the Phone  :51  J. C Jarvis/ Suzannah Doyle
35. Say, Dollface, Pick Up the Phone :49  J. C Jarvis/ Suzannah Doyle
36. Instant Gratification Hotline  :30  Suzannah Doyle
37. 7 Habits of Highly Successful Pirates  :41   Eric Nepom/ Suzannah Doyle
38. Sexy Innuendo Ring Tone  :49  Suzannah Doyle
39. Cannibals in Crisis  :30  Michael Warner/ Suzannah Doyle
40. Relax, Dammit! (Guided Meditation) :55  Lyris Cooper/ Suzannah Doyle
41. Jame Bond: Sushi Happy Meal :30   A. Sivetz/ Suzannah Doyle
42. In a World Guy: Fluffy Happy Bunnies  1:06   Leon Flood/ Suzannah Doyle
43. Discount Grim Reaper :30  Lyris Cooper/ Suzannah Doyle
44. Habib: Discount Guru Phone Mssg  :30  Murray Lein/ Allen DeSomer
45. Ross Perot-Gee: Fix America Now :37  Suzannah Doyle
46. Self Esteem: I Do Not Suck  :30  Vicki Hannah Lein/ Suzannah Doyle
47. Pompei Radio WR-O-N-G :30  Michael Warner
48. Psycho Killer Hotline :30  Suzannah Doyle/ Nick Pugliese
49. Gates of Heaven: Welcome (Enter 24-digit PIN) :30  Michael Warner/ Suzannah Doyle
50. Sean Connery Fast Food Order :30  A. Sivetz/ Suzannah Doyle

STARRING THE RINGTONE THEATRE CO-HORTS:

Lyris Cooper • Allen DeSomer • Rylan Doyle • Suzannah Doyle • Leon Flood • Jackson Frisbie • Neal Gladstone • Vicki Hannah Lein • Bryce Hanson • J. C Jarvis • Murray Lein • Eric Nepom • Nick Pugliese • A. Sivetz • Steve Soucy • Michael Warner